Thursday, July 07, 2016

COURT'S FAVOR TOWARD MOTHERS IS NOT GOOD FOR SOCIETY



One of the world’s most respected campaigners on men’s issues believes “dad deprivation” is directly causing what he’s termed “the boy crisis” – and unless society urgently intervenes, we will be in danger of writing off a generation of men.
Dad-deprived boys are less likely to display empathy, be less assertive, depressed, have nightmares, talk back and disobey.

Farrell believes modern society is being tangibly eroded by dad deprivation – through increased relationship breakdown, family courts that favor mothers, and fathers denied access to their children after a separation.
He points out that in in every one of the largest 70 developed nations, boys have fallen behind girls, and what they have in common, Farrell says, is divorce.
“Dad-deprived boys are less likely to display empathy, be less assertive, depressed, have nightmares, talk back and be disobedient,”. 
A report in February found that men accounted for more than three times as many suicides as women in 2014.
“These boys will also be more likely to have low self esteem, fewer friends, and are likely to do worse in every single academic area, especially reading and writing, and maths and science."
“These boys hurt: and boys who hurt, hurt us – and themselves. Prisons are centres for dad-deprived boys. There has been a 700 per cent increase in incarceration in the USA since the 1970s – in the UK it has more than doubled. Dad deprivation is directly related to that, and to suicide, which is the number one killer of British men aged under 45."
“At age nine, girls and boys commit suicide in equal numbers, but boys are twice as likely aged 14, four times more likely aged 15-19, and five times more by age 20-25. This is the time when dads drift out of their lives”.
Some proposed solutions include having more male teachers,  by state legislation if necessary.
“We need a major overhaul of education system, especially in inner cities where we know dad deprivation is higher,” he says. 

“These boys have no positive male role models. That makes them vulnerable to strong, destructive alpha males like gang leaders or drug dealers."
“These boys are also most likely to be brought up by mums, then move from a mother-centered home to a woman-centered school.
“Boys need to see males caring at every stage of their lives. So we need more male teachers, period. I’d say equal amounts at least, although, in areas where there are 70 per cent single mothers, why not have 70 per cent male teachers?
“We need to encourage men into the caring sectors, to challenge the cliché that caring work is women’s work”.
Farrell also urges dads not to willingly abandon their children, which he sees as a dereliction of duty.

“Men should not withdraw like cowards,” he says. “To an eight-year-old boy, their dad is God. Backing off or abandoning them leaves the child feeling not important. Dads must fight to be a part of their children’s lives, especially if the mother blocks that”.
Here, Farrell urges separating parents to park their own differences.
Boys need to see males caring at every stage of their lives. So we need more male teachers, period. I’d say equal amounts at least
“Allowing dads in helps both the boy and the mother, as the child will be easier to manage for her as sole carer,” he says. “Data shows divorced mums are five times more likely to bad mouth dads than dads do mums. That to me is child abuse: not by intent, but by outcome. It makes the boy feel that when he’s a dad, he will be a second class citizen. It makes him hesitant to have kids himself as he won’t be respected”.
Above all, Farrell believes we need to preach that fatherhood is the ultimate reward, one that outweighs money or success.
“Fatherhood is about passing on character, which is the most empowering and gratifying feeling,” he says. “We should celebrate gentle, caring, loving values in men; not just power, but responsibility”.

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